Divorce is a phenomenon that brings the drastic change to the life of children not depending on their age. It causes separation between two households that results in the daily absence of one parent. Besides, the child should overcome the challenges that are rising because of the need to live with the new family. The paper conducts the deep study of divorce, the consequences that it induces, formation of the steps necessary to support parents, and ways of mitigating the negative effect of the phenomenon, which could help to perform the required actions that will further reduce the number of divorces.
Influence of Divorce on Children
The study of the problematic issues showed that divorce tends to intensify the dependence of the child and to accelerate the independence of adolescents. Such a phenomenon prompts more regressive response of the kid and aggressive reply of the teenager (Pickhardt, 2011). The independent-minded adolescent reacts more belligerently to the divorce process than children. They often behave in a rebellious and mad way. The pre-school kid can try to get parents back, when the adolescent will attempt to get back at them. Thus, when the pre-school child feels grief, the youngster experiences grievance (Pickhardt, 2011). For those of school age, family separation has specific impact because of the double pressure – at school and at home. The crucial factor is that divorce influences boys more negatively due to the more frequent father-son contact. Besides, children of tender years perceive the events more consciously, and it is harder for them to adapt to the new family that further causes behavior disorders (Pickhardt, 2011).
Thus, it is very important to form the particular approach that will help children to cope with the problem more effectively. Infants should be ensured that both parents love them and divorce is not their fault. Children have to be provided with the practical information such as how the kid will be supported during studies, which of the parents will drive them to school, and when he/she could spend time with the other parent (Kleinsorge & Covitz, 2012). Discussing family separation is essential; however, one should avoid the burdening. The youngsters have to be kept out of the middle. Therefore, it will not be right to turn the child into the negotiator of the divorce. Besides, parents should not focus on the bitterness of the things done. The better resolution would be to convince teenagers that everything will be good and nothing will change (Kleinsorge & Covitz, 2012). The determining factor is establishment of new traditions but sensitivity concerning involvement of new individuals to the process should be taken into account.
Discouraging Divorce and Encouraging Marriage
With respect to the negative effect of divorce, it is important to take the right decision regarding encouraging of marriage and discouraging of parents split (Amato, 2010). The researches of the issue identify that children in the married families study much better at school, have good health, and are more seldom involved in crime and poverty (Amato, 2010). Thus, one of the most crucial steps to fight with divorce is the historical reform of the welfare system adopted by the Congress and orientation on the reduction of the marriage penalty in the tax code. It should regulate the earned income tax credit in such a way that the low-income married couples with children could receive greater benefits compared to the single parent (Williams, 2012). Another major aspect is allocation of the state welfare funds to reward the countries with the lowest rate of divorce. Moreover, it would be effective to eliminate the perverse incentive in state laws that provide financial bonuses to unwed parents with the aim to have more kids. Hence, this method plays a significant role in restricting the anti-marriage biased approach that was so injurious in the old system of well-being (Williams, 2012). Additionally, motivation to attend the pre-marriage classes before becoming husband and wife could be another decisive feature.
Furthermore, professional counselors are of great importance since usually they are participants of various programs that have positive effect on reduction of divorces. The previous experience showed that establishment of such programs led to the decrease of divorce rate by 30 percent. In Washington, the program Best Friend was implemented that helped to reduce the degree of family splits by 90 percent (Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009). The private based initiative Community Marriage Covenant that was developed in 135 cities also significantly contributed to minimizing divorces (Rhoades et al., 2009). Thus, the crucial factor is providing support to both parents. The counselor should convince them not to apply the language of victims. The support should be reflected in the encouragement to move on and work with the mediator because approaching lawyers can only delay the resolution and will take more finance and emotions (Rhoades et al., 2009). Therefore, it is important to make the research of the alternatives in order to make the right choice. The counselor should control that both sides will not take actions basing on sentiments and will behave wisely. The determining aspect is to persuade the couple that the current situation is not going to last forever; it is just one of the life events (Horne, 2014). Another useful issue is to buy several good books of the encouraging character. The valuable advice is to do something that could help gain new experience namely take a trip or cut hair. The conversation should not concentrate on children only because that will make people regret about they have done (Horne, 2014). The work should focus on love, and honesty that will induce opening the heart and arriving at the sensible decision.
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The study of divorces proved its detrimental role in rearing children. Thus, the conclusion may be drawn that the crucial aspect is reduction of the number of divorces that will positively contribute to upbringing of the healthy and prosperous society. The optimal solution includes using the help of professional counselors as well as support of specific programs and organizations because they are as much effective as governmental reforms and will definitely assist in improving the current statistics.
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